My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do vagina's smell?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
