and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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