butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
