Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize