O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My dick has a subreddit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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