did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
