worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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