ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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