we made out on top of his cat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
