The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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