no, he came in my armpit
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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