508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
