Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
