Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
