obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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