i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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