so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
