is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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