He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
