I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize