pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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