our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
