I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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