As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
