dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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