I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
