Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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