i would punch a child for taco bell
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
