she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
