he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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