in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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