Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she peed on how many people?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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