I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
