how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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