if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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