from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
