Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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