i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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