no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
