what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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