i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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