i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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