I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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