they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
