Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Let's get the cat blown out
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
