Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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