this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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