Dual....:-)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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