plz talk dirty to me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have tasted many bathrooms
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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