I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
