You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
