just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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