normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize