please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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