After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
