I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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