Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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