see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize