"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
