Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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