she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
