Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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