Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
