This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
