ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
