Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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