the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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