That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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